Volume 9 - The Dissociation of Suzumiya Haruhi Read online

  I would not deny that we were once very close friends. Back in the middle school days, I often mixed around with Sasaki. After class I hung out with Sasaki more in comparison to my other middle school classmates, but…

  Why am I feeling uneasy? I must first say that I did not remember doing anything that is against my conscience. In fact, I don’t think I did any. So why does Haruhi have such a strange expression on her face after knowing Sasaki and I were close friends? My feeling is like that of not bringing an umbrella out despite knowing that a storm will be arriving in five minutes.

  Now that I think about it, I can vaguely feel that the frequency of Asahina-san blinking her eyes had increased back then. Also, Koizumi had entered a state of deep thought with his hands rubbing his chin. In her uniform, Nagato’s expression did not change, but I had already focused my attention on Haruhi, so I can’t be sure either.

  At this moment, I noticed Sasaki stepping out half a step, lips curled into the shape of a crescent, revealing a smile and stretching out a hand, seemingly wanting to shake Haruhi’s hand.

  “I am Sasaki. You must be Suzumiya-san, I have heard a lot about you.”

  Haruhi’s eyes took a quick glance at me. I quickly corrected her like a person wrongly accused being forced to take the rap and become a criminal.

  “I didn’t mention anything about your devilish deeds! Sasaki, how do you know of Haruhi anyway?”

  “We live in the same area, and I tend to hear of controversial rumors once in a while. You are not the only one who went to North High from our school either, Kyon.”

  Are you referring to people like Kunikida?

  “So he went to North High too? Hmm… is he okay? It must be relaxing for him. With his potential, he could be in a much better school, and yet he went to North High, what a strange person.”

  Sasaki ended the conversation on ex-classmates, facing Haruhi yet again.

  “I heard that Kyon has been under a lot of your care in North High. I hope you can continue to take care of him well.”

  Sasaki did not withdraw the extended hand and revealed a kind smile.

  In response to the American-gestured greeting from Sasaki, Haruhi gave an expression of a child accidentally mistaking a pebble for chocolate and putting it in his or her mouth, but still shook Sasaki’s hand eventually.

  “Sure.”

  Haruhi held onto Sasaki’s hand and stared its owner right in the eye.

  “Seems like I do not have to introduce myself then.”

  “True.”

  Sasaki stared back at Haruhi with a face full of smiles, and laughed with a voice like that of the croak of a baby Japanese tree frog before continuing.

  “These few are……”

  Sasaki let go of Haruhi’s hand with a sense of reluctance and swept through the people present.

  Perhaps remembering that introducing the members is the role of the leader as well, Haruhi quickly countered.

  “The cutiepie on that side is Mikuru-chan, the one in her sailor uniform is Yuki and the one on this side is Koizumi.”

  The people she pointed out responded:

  “Ah…ah… I-I am Asahina Mikuru.”

  Looking at the only senior in her spring outfit that would definitely sell very well if a “Mikuru Series” is ever launched, with both her hands holding onto a handbag, hurriedly turned over and bowed.

  “I am Koizumi.”

  Our assistant brigade leader bowed politely at a near forty-five degree angle, as if he had special lessons from the ‘butler’ Arakawa.

  “…………”

  Wearing the uniform and behaving exactly like she would be in school, Nagato remained motionless.

  After hearing the various responses from each of them, Sasaki must have thought it would be too troublesome, and so did not request for handshakes with the other few like Haruhi.

  “Hi all.”

  After saying that, Sasaki evaluated each of the people standing in front with interest.

  And the three SOS Brigade members evaluated this guest with their own methods. Asahina looking at Sasaki gingerly, Koizumi with his usual trademark smile and Nagato staring motionlessly with her eyes that looked like they were taken out of the deep oceans, submerged in seawater.

  Sasaki looked like someone that’s trying to commit the names and looks of the three brigade members into their memory and stoned for a while, before turning back to me……

  “So, Kyon, it’s about time for me to embark on the train so I’ll get going. Keep in contact yeah? Bye~”

  Sasaki waved goodbye at us and proceeded to smile at Haruhi before walking towards the fare gate.

  I gave a sigh of relief and looked at the disappearing back of Sasaki until it disappeared.

  We can’t even talk properly despite not meeting for a full year. Perhaps another year would have past before we meet again.

  After remaining silent for a few moments, Haruhi said.

  “What a strange person.”

  If even you thought it was strange, it is definitely not just “a bit”.

  After saying that, she turned her gaze away from the fare gates and back at us.

  “Is that…… friend of yours always like this?”

  “Yeah. No change at all, be it physically or mentally.”

  “Hmm……?”

  Haruhi tilted her head, as if she wanted to empty out any unwanted thoughts she had remembered out from the ears, but very quickly forgot about adjusting her head angle but jumped and changed the direction her body was facing instead.

  “Forget it. Kyon, we’d better go to the restaurant now, your treat. I’m sure you’ve brought extra money along, right? We can buy anything we find interesting at the flea market.”

  Haruhi revealed a smile that was like the fluorescent light on display at the electrical departmental store and walked out of the station in big steps.

  My, my. If you simply asked me to carry things, I would be fine with it. But can’t you buy anything you liked with your own money instead? I had better keep a close eye on Nagato’s Literature Club activity funds in case Haruhi misuses it.

  “As for what happened later……”

  I told Koizumi.

  “You should know by now. We went to the restaurant, I treated everyone to the meal, went to the flea market, Haruhi bought a whole load of things, and we had lunch at a high class restaurant with a sea view before going home. I also went to Miyoko’s house on my way back.”

  Don’t tell me you had already forgotten that because you kept holding onto the chess set you bought from the old couple, all of the carrying duties were left to me. Thanks to you, I was forced to carry a whole load of junk, like the unpolished desert granite, while running around the area. The only things that offered me some consolation were the shrieks like “Waa~ What a simple toy… but it is really beautiful…” from Asahina-san, who was holding onto a kaleidoscope that looks like it was made by a grade school child, and Nagato, who seemed to be staring intently at some mask that looked like it belonged to an evil wizard from some ancient tribe.

  “So far, is there anything that doesn’t seem right compared to your memory?”

  “Luckily, I don’t think so.”

  Koizumi said while surveying the monitor in earnest.

  “An objective truth is like what you have pointed out, there is nothing wrong. But, if we look at it subjectively, your opinion and mine seem to have some major differences.”

  He turned his gaze towards me while saying that. It is such a gaze that I most cannot stand about him.

  “So, this is where the problem is. I said just now that the frequency of the appearance of ‘Sealed Realities’ had increased recently, or to put it more correctly, is comparable to when Suzumiya-san had just entered high school. Starting last year, and continuing until this year, the number of times I have had to work has decreased, but has recently spiked up to previous levels starting this spring. What is the reason for this?”

  I am getting increasingly
impatient…..

  “What exactly do you want to say?”

  “Although I did not want to spell it out exactly, but there are times when some things, if not expressed in words, will never reach the hearts of others. Cases when speechless communication being able to transmit information accurately are few and far between, I shall illustrate the following as cause and effect. According to the current situation, the part on cause is the sentence ‘the last day of spring break’. Effects are ‘Sealed Realities’ and ‘Avatars’. So, what exactly does this mean? This is my question to you.”

  “…………”

  I am engulfed by the speechlessness like that of Nagato. Areas near my hindbrain started to hurt.

  10 A period of time when many fine art pieces are created.

  Koizumi revealed a smile found on a mask dug out from the Jomon Period[10]. If nobody said this is a smile, I really would not understand.

  “Because Suzumiya-san started creating ‘Sealed Realities’ in the new school term, I can infer that there must have been a problem on the last day of spring break. And when we wonder what exactly could have happened, our normal SOS Brigade activities would not be of much importance. It is only that we spent one jovial day at the flea market. So if we are to talk about problems, it had to be the intervention of variable factors……. Regarding the variable factor, I think you should know that.”

  You mean Sasaki.

  “But why? Sasaki is just a middle school friend whom I met by coincidence at our usual meeting place. How did it turn into the source of Haruhi’s problems?”

  Koizumi opened his mouth with a look of shock before looking at me with a sense of connoisseurship than friendliness, just like when Shamisen first saw the cicada my younger sister caught and brought home, and continued this way for nearly ten seconds.

  Just when I wanted to wave my hand in front of his eyes to check if he was still conscious, this esper with a harmless-looking and handsome face shook his head quite strongly.

  “If you want me to say why……”

  He turned towards me in exaggerated actions.

  “That would be the self-proclaimed very close friend Sasaki of yours, who exudes a charm that is able to mesmerize eight out of ten guys.”

  Koizumi used a voice with the determination of an evil imperial official wanting to assassinate the king.

  I have to reverse time back to two years ago from this time.

  During the spring after entering third-year middle school, I was forced to attend a cram school by my paranoid mother, who was afraid that I would be unable to make it to a high school.

  Coincidentally, Sasaki was in the same cram school class that I was, and also happened to be the only person in that class who was also from my middle school class. And also, very coincidentally, we happened to be sitting near each other. After that, though I am not really sure who began first, we started chatting. Although I do not exactly remember it very well now, but I think it began with something like “Yo, you are having lessons here as well huh?”

  That is the turning point, and after that, in the middle school classroom, we made occasional small talk with each other.

  11 In the Japanese language, there are gender differences to words. For example, simply for the word “I”, the males can pronounce it as “boku” and “ore”, girls as “atashi” while “watashi” can be used by both genders for extremely polite situations. Normally, girls would stick to the female versions and vice versa of the pronunciation regardless of whether they are talking to males or females, unlike Sasaki.

  Although I didn’t really pay special attention to it, I quickly noticed that the language used by Sasaki when she was with boys was different from that when she was with girls[11].

  I guess there must be some justification behind her doing that. Could it be that she hoped that the other party would not treat her as a girl or love interest? I think I am thinking too much.

  Seems I am fine with it either way, I have never interfered with her decision on this matter. I do not have enough confidence in my language skills to the extent that I am able to correct others anyway.

  As for my name, Sasaki seemed to find it very interesting.

  “Kyon huh…… what a special nickname. Why were you given such a nickname?”

  I explained the stupid reason behind it as well as my younger sister’s antics with angst.

  “Oh…… so what is your real name?”

  After telling her verbally, Sasaki turned her neck and pupils in different directions.

  “So this is how Kyon’s name came about. So how do you write it out? Ah. Don’t tell me first. Let me try and guess it.”

  The enthusiastic Sasaki thought for a while, before laughing out loud.

  “Is this how it is written?”

  She hurriedly picked up her mechanical pencil and started writing on the notebook. I let out a gasp of surprise after she wrote the name down. Sasaki wrote my name perfectly.

  “Can you tell me the reason for having such a royal and imposing name?”

  And so I told her the reason, which my father told me when I asked him when I was still young, verbatim.

  “Great.”

  After Sasaki said that, it kind of influenced me to think the same way as well.

  “But, I still like the name Kyon more. It sounds nice when pronounced verbally. Can I call you that? Or do you want me to give you another nickname? After all you don’t seem to really like this nickname of yours…”

  How did you know that I don’t like it?

  “Because I got a quicker response when I called you by your real name than when I called you by your nickname. The difference was about 0.2 seconds.”

  That is because only those people who have proper business with me will address me by my real name. Like during lesson time when teachers ask a question or from those people whom I do not know as well…… especially when it is girls or something like that…… and you just said 0.2 seconds? You can tell that kind of difference?

  “Because this is normally the amount of time it takes for the signals to reach the brain and effect the action. You can respond immediately when people called you by your real name, but the response is slower when people call you Kyon due to your subconciousness. I think that is because you don’t really like this nickname deep inside your heart.”

  Now that I think about it, this is the first time I heard of so much jargon at once.

  The cram school lessons happened three days every week, on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. They were always at night.

  Other than the Saturdays when there was no school, every Tuesday and Thursday, I would go to the cram school together with Sasaki. The cram school was near the biggest train station in this area. If we were to walk there from my middle school, we would probably never reach there. And public buses would go in a loop just to arrive at the cram school. So the simplest and ideal way would be to cycle from the school to the train station. By this method, we can arrive at the cram school within fifteen minutes.

  Since my house was just along the straight-line distance from my middle school to the cram school, I would bring out my bicycle from my house and cycle to the cram school. Having Sasaki ride on pillion out of convenience also became a habit of mine. To Sasaki, it helped her save a bundle on transportation.

  Although we were in the same class in the cram school as well, there wasn’t exactly a lot of free time for us to chat all day long. Both of us would fit into the atmosphere and work hard with everyone else. Because of this, the steadily decreasing curve on my report card in middle school second year stopped moving downwards, allowing me to relax a little. After seeing the scores moving up with each passing test, my mother, who forced me into the cram school against all odds, felt gratified.

  If my mother could have changed her pet phrase that “If you do not study well, you will not be able to make it into the same university as Sasaki-san.”, it would have been even better. I just do not understand why must I get into t
he same university as her.

  After the cram school was over, the skies would have already turned dark. I would often raise my head up and admire the bean-sized natural satellites in the sky while pushing my bicycle along, with Sasaki following closely behind. I would accompany Sasaki, who takes a public bus home, to the nearest bus stop.

  “So Kyon, see you tomorrow in school.”

  Sasaki would board the public bus and would wave to me while saying the above. Then I would be on my way home……

  Okay, that’s all for the reminiscing.

  “I cannot believe you two had already progressed to that stage.”

  Koizumi placed his finger on his eyebrow.

  “This is just like a scene from a pure and innocent middle school love story, isn’t it?”

  You can say that. Wait, no. Sasaki and I did not even get involved officially as boy-girlfriends. Even suggesting that is already incorrect.

  “Yeah, I thought so too. If you think that this is so, of course it would be correct. But how would the people around you see it? If they saw you like this, what would they think about?”

  Don’t know why I have this bad premonition. Back then, Kunikida and Nakagawa had misunderstood Sasaki and my relationship too……

  “See, didn’t I misunderstand too? Of course I am not the only one who will think this way. Maybe Asahina-san and Nagato are having the same thoughts as me too. But since those two more or less know a bit about you, I need not worry too much on that front. they would quit worrying after a while and not take it to heart. But I know there is one person who would really mind.”

  “……Who?”

  Koizumi’s smile had a tinge of evilness. The look in his eyes seemed to be blaming me for something.

  “I have reached this point and you still cannot understand. Do you want me to cut your head open and write the name there directly into your brain?”

  I already understand after you had put it this way.