Volume 6 - The Wavering of Suzumiya Haruhi Read online

  Anyway, she was already in the process of making the second movie, scheduled to be shown at the next school festival. There’s a limit for impatience, you know.

  She should consider my feelings as well. I just barely managed to carry all those heavy equipment to their destination, and was about to finally go home and get some rest, and yet there were even more goods for me to carry. Right now I feel like escorting a female protagonist home on a path full of predators, always having to worry when a Bengal tiger would strike at us. This is all thanks to the movie which was shown not long ago, as it was simply too overwhelming.

  As for how overwhelming it was, you’ll just have to read on……

  Her name is Asahina Mikuru. At first glance, she seems like a normal, healthy and cute young girl, yet she is really a time traveler from the future. If you happen to know someone called “Asahina Mikuru” somewhere else, that’s simply a coincidence, just wanted to let you know.

  Anyway, Asahina Mikuru’s true identity is a battle waitress from the future. Why does the waitress have to come from the future? And why did she have to dress up as a waitress? Asking such insignificant questions is meaningless, all I can say is, that’s how the story is set. In fact, not a single character here has a valid raison d’etre.

  ……This is all decided by someone from somewhere high up above.

  For now, let us secretly observe this Asahina Mikuru.

  Normally she would dress up as a bunny girl, since this happens to be part of Mikuru’s daily life, which involves attracting customers to visit the local shopping street. Every night, she would change into her bunny girl costume, and carry a large plastic placard in front of the stores and advertise for them with her shy voice. In other words, this is what normal people would call a job.

  As she came all the way from the future, she ought to be able to make money more efficiently, but since this story is created without any consideration for those matters, I might as well let everyone know about this before you get your hopes up too early.

  This means that this battle waitress from the future would normally dress up as a bunny girl.

  Before anyone asks if there’s a meaning in dressing like that, I’d also like to inform you that you’ll probably never find out the answer till the end. In other words, it is meaningless. Even if there is a meaning, it is most likely the mystery would never be solved. If it can’t be solved, it’s pretty much meaningless as well. It makes no difference whatsoever.

  Today Asahina Mikuru was again dressed in her hot bunny girl costume and waving a plastic placard in front of the stores, and helping the owners make ends meet.

  “Everyone please stop by! We have new supplies of fresh cabbage for today! And there’s a limited sale! For the next hour, each cabbage will be at half price! The lady over there, don’t delay!”

  Mikuru can be seen shouting with a stiff voice while standing in front of the grocery. The bunny ears on her head aren’t the only things swinging from her tiny figure, but something else on her body. Most of the grocery customers are middle-aged housewives, so no one was sure how getting a cute girl to advertise can be effective. Yet the sight of Mikuru sincerely working hard to advertise has already moved thousands of hearts, and everyone who passes by the grocery would smile pleasantly, and naturally they wouldn’t mind parting with their money.

  “Mikuru-chan, you’re energetic today as well,”

  This deadpan dialogue was read out by a bystander, as Mikuru revealed her bright red sunflower smile,

  “Thank you! I’ll do my best!”

  The cosplay girl who worked too hard replied and continued to spread her innocent charm at the shopping street.

  She has the magical ability to alter a customer’s menu for tonight’s dinner from a simple cabbage into a vegetable hot pot! This is coupled with this amazing sentence,

  “Hurry up and get them while stocks last!”

  The grocery immediately became packed with people. In a short while, all the discounted cabbages were sold.

  Mikuru was then summoned by the grocery owner, Morimuri Kiyosumi-san (age 46), who gave her an envelope with her salary in it,

  “You’ve always come to help us out. This isn’t much, but please take it,”

  Mikuru received the envelope from Morimura-san’s hands, which were weathered by many years of blood and sweat, and said,

  “Don’t mention it. You’re being too generous, I’m always being looked after by you, since this is all that I can do……”

  Mikuru bowed and thanked him, she’s a very humble girl ever since the beginning. She stuffed the envelope into her very low décolletage and said,

  “I’ve got to help out the butcher’s next, so please excuse me. See you later!”

  Mikuru carried her plastic placard and ran along the shopping street. She has now become the irreplaceable mascot of this shopping street and is very popular with the residents here.

  Best of luck, Mikuru. Pull back all the customers who have been snatched away by the Wal-Mart a few blocks away since it opened last year. The fate of the local community and the small personal shops all rest on your shoulders.

  ……One is tempted to recite the above paragraph when looking at her back.

  However, Mikuru didn’t travel back in time from the future in order to rescue a local shopping street in decline. Her bunny girl appearance was simply a cover identity, because remember, she’s a battle waitress. Actually there’s not much difference whether she’s dressed as a bunny girl or as a waitress, but that’s how the story is set.

  This is because the story is the product of someone’s instantaneous random thoughts, and as a result, the plot lacks any planning whatsoever.

  So, Mikuru’s real purpose, her true mission, was to secretly protect a young man.

  This young man is called Koizumi Itsuki. At first glance he looks like a high school student you would find anywhere, but he is actually an esper. If you happen to bump into someone who is also called “Koizumi Itsuki,” I’m sure everyone would have guessed by now without me explaining, that this is just a coincidence.

  Even though he’s an esper, Koizumi Itsuki wasn’t aware of this himself. It was only by chance that the supernatural powers hidden within him were awakened. Just to be safe, he is currently living the life of a high school student, a life that from a subjective and objective perspective can be defined as normal.

  Today, Koizumi Itsuki carried his bag and the usual casual smile on his face as he walked home from school. He would always pass through this shopping street every day on the way to and from school.

  “……”

  Itsuki was secretly being observed by someone standing in the shadows. From this person’s long bunny ears and near-naked costume, it is not hard to guess that this is none other than Mikuru. Normally one wouldn’t wear such clothes that would stand out when stalking, but as this was her regular attire, she didn’t have much choice.

  “Phew,”

  Mikuru sighed deeply. She seems to be relieved that Itsuki seems to be safe for now. She also resembles a kouhai sighing at herself for not having the courage to say hi to the sempai she admires. Just thinking about this is enough to piss me off, so I decided to ignore the latter possibility.

  After seeing Itsuki walk away, Mikuru used a felt-tip pen and wrote on her plastic placard, “100 grams of brisket for only 98 yen (with heart-shaped symbols and cute cow illustrations.)” She then looked a bit dejected as she walked in the opposite direction away from Itsuki.

  After nodding her head to everyone’s greetings along the way, Mikuru arrived in front of the dimly lit stationery store. The owner of this store, Suzuki Yuusuke-san (age 65), is the president of this shopping district council, he is also the person who provided Mikuru with her current lodgings.

  “Welcome back, Mikuru-chan. Was the work hard today?”

  Suzuki-san spoke in a formal tone as he smiled gently like a kind grandfather while greeting Mikuru.

  “Um…… Not at all. Th
ere were a lot of customers today…… Um, it’s prosperous, I think that’s how you would describe it.”

  “Good, very good.”

  After nodding and thanking Suzuki-san, Mikuru walked up the slightly steep stairs. Passing a narrow corridor, she entered a small Japanese-style bedroom, Mikuru’s current lodging in this time period.

  As Suzuki-san himself lived elsewhere, this room was originally unoccupied, I’m not too sure about the details; but anyway, this is where the time-traveler Mikuru currently lives.

  After closing the door, Mikuru began to slowly take off her bunny girl costume. Sadly, this very seductive scene was cut. The next scene shows her crawling into her bed, wearing a very loose T-shirt, and that was the end of that scene.

  On the other hand, there was someone else observing Koizumi Itsuki with what can only be described as thoughtful eyes.

  That person is Nagato Yuki. While she looks like an extraordinary and exceptional girl, in reality she is an evil alien magician. This can be figured out by the odd costume she’s wearing, a wide-rimmed pointy hat with a large cape over her shoulders. By the way, if you happen to know someone called “Nagato Yuki,” that’s just a coincidence…… I’m sure you’re all sick and tired of hearing that already.

  “……”

  Carrying a poker face without any emotions in it, Yuki stood on the roof of a high school building. This high school is the one Itsuki attends, and judging from the scene, this Yuki seems to be planning something for Itsuki; yet judging from the time this scene was shot, Itsuki has already gone home. In other words, Yuki is standing on the school’s rooftop when Itsuki is no longer at school. Now that’s a very awkward cut-in scene.

  A while ago in the shopping district, one could tell it was near sunset, yet right now the sun was above Yuki’s head, and the rays are now much stronger. No matter how one tries to hide it, it’s not hard to figure out that this scene was filmed during lunch break. This shows how much of a headache the director gives to the editing team when she disregards the continuity of the scenes.

  This also applies to all the upcoming scenes as well.

  As we’re running short on time, we now skip to the first battle between Mikuru and Yuki without any explanation whatsoever.

  For some reason the battle takes place at the forest park. After a meaningless scene of Mikuru running through among the flying pigeons, we now come straight to this battle.

  Right now she’s no longer wearing her bunny girl costume, but rather her waitress costume, the mini-skirt of which is simply too short. Mikuru, whose charm increased tenfold by tying her hair into two ponytails, now carries a rather heavy automatic pistol. In a way, she revealed a sad expression like that of a martyr who is prepared to sacrifice her life. This expression wasn’t made under the director’s instructions, but was in fact showing the lead actress’s genuine feelings.

  On the other hand, Nagato Yuki, cloaked all in black, seemed oblivious to what was going on. She simply stood there and held a magic wand with a star in her hand.

  The two girls now stared back and forth at each other in what is supposed to be a face-off. Mikuru doesn’t seem comfortable with this, perhaps thinking that she wouldn’t stand a chance in such a battle?

  “Ahh!”

  Mikuru shut her eyes tight and waved her gun blindly as she pulled the trigger. The bullets now flew out of the gun and towards Yuki’s direction. Yet most of them didn’t even hit their intended target, and whizzed past Yuki. One could count the number of bullets reached to the target with all five fingers.

  Obviously Yuki was not going to stand there and become a bullseye, she slowly waved her “Star Ring Inferno,” her ridiculously-named wand, and swiftly swept the bullets onto the ground.

  “Sob……”

  Very quickly, all the bullets have been fired. Silence fell once again on the battlefield,

  “V, very well! I’ll just have to use my secret attack! Take this……”

  It seems rather early to be using her secret attack already. We now see Mikuru yell cutely as she threw away her gun and widened her beautiful eyes.

  Her blue left eye was widely opened as she placed a V-shape finger gesture over her face,

  “Mi, Mi, Mikuru Beam!”

  One yell and one blink later, a deadly laser would be fired from that eye of hers. The fatal laser would travel at the speed of light and slice through everything that it touches - that’s supposed to be the case, but someone wasn’t going to allow Mikuru to succeed.

  That person was none other than Nagato Yuki.

  Without any special effects used during filming, Yuki had moved instantaneously, and blocked the Mikuru Beam with her right hand. Before the laser could even make a hissing slicing sound, Yuki had already arrived in front of Mikuru.

  “Kyaa!?”

  Mikuru was startled at the shadow suddenly looming quickly towards her. Yuki moved in such speed that the sight of her figure has become blurry. She easily grabbed hold of Mikuru’s face and pressed her to the ground,

  “Ah…… Na, Nagato-san……!”

  The black cloaked Nagato was now sitting on a terrified waitress.

  What will happen from now on? What fate awaits Mikuru? And when will Itsuki be able make his appearance by chance?

  All these questions will be answered eventually after these messages by Oomori Electronics, announced by none other than our two female protagonists.

  All these questions will be answered eventually after these messages for Oomori Electronics, announced by none other than our two female protagonists.

  ……

  Welcome back, the movie now resumes with Mikuru the waitress walking aimlessly along the street.

  “I can’t believe the Mikuru Beam didn’t work at all…… I must think of something else,”

  Mikuru talked to herself as she walked along the shopping street. Looking tired, she dragged herself back to the stationery store and into her room, which doesn’t even have a single decent piece of furniture in sight, and began to change again. After all, she isn’t a Power Ranger; she would have to take off the clothes she’s wearing if she is to transform.

  When the door reopened, Mikuru once again reappeared in her bunny girl costume, then walked down the stairs looking depressed.

  Looks like she still has to work today, regardless of the outcome of the battle. I wonder if she’s serious or dense, or just really passionate about her work? The protagonist of this movie is sure going through a lot of tough times, which is kind of similar to Mikuru’s own experience when she made this movie.

  At this moment, Koizumi Itsuki, as usual, was walking along the road with a thoughtful expression on his face.

  Ahead of him stood the mysterious dark-cloaked figure - Nagato Yuki. This time a cat can be seen sticking out his paws and clinging to Yuki’s shoulder. It looks as though the cat is trying to keep his balance more so than Yuki. As Yuki was already good at concealing her presence, it came very suddenly when she appeared and blocked Itsuki’s path.

  Making a startled expression, Itsuki stopped in front of the magician with a cat.

  “Who art thou?”

  Any simple line was far better than this, but that’s what was written on the script, so there was no other choice.

  “I am……”

  Yuki paused for a moment, then said,

  “A magic-wielding alien.”

  Itsuki stared at the cat and responded,

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes.”

  Yuki also stared at the cat.

  “So how may I help you?”

  “You have a hidden power that I want.”

  “And what if I refuse your request?”

  “I must obtain it, even if it means using extreme means.”

  “What do you mean by extreme means?”

  “Like this.”

  Yuki waved her “Star Ring Inferno,” from which the star-shaped symbol fired a piercing laser as fast as lightning.

  “Look out!”
r />   A bunny girl leapt out from the side and grabbed hold of Itsuki, and then they both fell towards the ground. The lightning-fast beam missed its target and disappeared after hitting the electric post.

  The sight of Mikuru’s slim figure being hugged is enough to infuriate. For some reason, Yuki did not continue her attack.

  Mikuru was now seeing stars as she smacked her head when falling to the ground. Only when Itsuki shook her shoulders did she wave the stars away.

  “Ouch……”

  Rubbing her head, Mikuru stood up, then defiantly pointed towards Yuki and said,

  “I won’t let you have your way……”

  Yuki looked straight at Mikuru, then glanced expressionlessly towards the whiskers of the cat sitting on her shoulder, and then returned her gaze towards Mikuru again and said,

  “I will retreat for now. You won’t be so lucky next time. Before then, try to think of what to write on your tombstone, for I will show no mercy next time, and will definitely annihilate you.”

  I don’t understand why she wants to give Mikuru some breathing space. Anyway, after saying that, Yuki’s tiny figure slowly walked away.

  Itsuki now spoke,

  “May I ask who are you?”

  “Eh?”

  Mikuru, who just managed to breath a sigh of relief, now looked tense again,

  “Ah, um…… I’m just a bunny girl passing by! That’s all! G, good bye!”

  She then ran away as though running after Yuki.

  “Just who is she……”

  Itsuki looked pointlessly far off into the distance, and the camera also panned up pointlessly towards the white clouds which signals the end of this scene.

  The second battle between Mikuru and Yuki takes place by a pond.

  As you all know by now, there is no explanation for how we have come to this battle already. You can use your own imagination to figure out that a lot must have happened…… I think.

  “I’m not going to back away because of this! Y, you evil alien Yuki. Hurry up and leave Earth……! You…… Um…..”